The Next Step

Today we’re heading to Ubud, Bali, Indonesia. It should be good times as there is a monkey forest there, among other interesting places.

But this post isn’t about that. It’s about a decision Indi and I talked about before we even had our estate sale that we’re finally going to put into action. We’re going to travel solo until our flight leaves on July 16th.

You see, part of the reason I wanted to take this journey was to discover myself and build a more solid foundation. I don’t think that can truly be done when you’re constantly around someone that knows who you were in your old life and serves as a ‘comfortable’ replacement for actually growing as a person.

I’ll give you an example. When I went to Ubud the other day with the crew of CouchSurfers, I found myself mostly talking about Indi. At some point I stopped and wondered if I had anything to say for myself. I seem to have a habit of living for others before myself, and while that serves a purpose, it should not be the status quo. I find it hard at time to form a solid opinion because I can’t stop considering others to consider myself.

This may not make a lot of sense to you, but it does for us. If we lose who we are as individuals, it sets us up for failure. This will also allow us to truly understand the positive/negative things we bring to each other as a couple and form a stronger bond. And as an added bonus, I’ll have the extra confidence that I’m doing this myself, not just riding Indi’s coattails. Did you know the office had a pool on how long I’d last out here?

Our split won’t happen for a few more days, after Ubud. I’ll have the laptop but Indi will have the camera. You’ll still hear from both of us via wi-fi or internet cafes, as usual.

About rhysfunk

Rhys Martin was born in Tulsa, Oklahoma in 1981. In 2009, he sold everything he owned and left the country, living out of a backpack for ten months. He discovered a passion for photography while traveling throughout Southeast Asia and Europe. After returning home, he looked at his home town and Oklahoma heritage with fresh eyes. When he began to explore his home state, Rhys turned his attention to historic Route 66. As he became familiar with the iconic highway, he began to truly appreciate Oklahoma’s place along the Mother Road. He has traveled all 2,400 miles of Route 66, from Chicago to Los Angeles. He has also driven many miles on rural Oklahoma highways to explore the fading Main Streets of our small towns. Rhys has a desire to find and share the unique qualities of the Sooner State with the rest of the world. Cloudless Lens Photography has been featured in several publications including This Land, Route 66 Magazine, Nimrod Journal, Inbound Asia Magazine, The Oklahoman, and the Tulsa World. In 2018 he published his first book, Lost Restaurants of Tulsa. Rhys loves to connect with people and share his experiences; ask him about enjoyable day trips from Tulsa, locations along Route 66, and good diners or burger joints along the way.
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5 Responses to The Next Step

  1. Brock says:

    I know exactly what you mean. I was talking to Billy a couple weeks ago and he was saying "you know, I don't really know you outside of Meg." Even after she and I broke up, we stayed close friends, and I would always talk about her. Even when we'd start a conversation about me, I would eventually end up at her. But then she and I stopped talking, and I have been getting away from that. I've been being me. The me who I want to be, the real me. I am so much happier and I have more fun now. It's amazing what you can find when you start to be like YOU want to be, and not what you think everyone else wants you to be.

  2. Malinda says:

    I hope your solo trips contain a whole spectrum of emotions. Of course I don't want anything bad to happen to either of you and I hope your solo trips are all happy, fulfilling times. While I obviously do not have the jet set wisdom that the two of you are quickly adapting too, I've found that its best to find your true self when you have to dog the nitty gritty times alone and come out the other side a little shaken, a little weary, and slightly confused with a sense of self reality that may even prove to be surreal. Not only do you gain insight on yourself but the sense of pride of accomplishing such a feat is most rewarding. A toast to both of you:Live in the present. Don't forget the past. Fear not the future, for it does not exist, and never will. There is only the present.I love both of you! Be safe and have FUN!

  3. Indi says:

    Thanks to both of you for your comments. Brock, I'm so glad to hear you're doing better! Malinda, you have a wisdom all your own, and I wouldn't trade your friendship for anything. I miss you and hope you're doing wonderfully too – love to you both!

  4. rdavison says:

    It will be interesting to see what you find when you gaze into the looking glass. To be able to say I not only went to the mountain top… I jumped. I not only jumped, I flew. And not only flew… I soared! We all dream about being hermits for a time. To look within and wonder. To explore our own inner self. Alas, life usually gets in the way. We “snap back to reality.” As if I didn’t already envy you enough, now this. Enjoy the journey. It will be interesting to find what lurks deep within the crevices of your mind.

  5. Kristin says:

    I too feel this… as a matter of fact, when my husband, Bruce, and I got married, we did the traditional Unity Candle, BUT… we did not blow out our single candles, YES, we were joining our lives, but we were still individuals. I think of that often and am SO glad we did it this way. We are still our own people, but a couple as well. The individuality didn't just go away and we wanted to show that! I say YAY for you! We all should be so lucky to have this realization and then DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

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