Woke up. Barely. Absolutely did not want to get up. Got up. Tongue covered in some horrid substance. This explains the tongue scraper they give you in the gift basket. Gagged and retched. Walked outside.
Almost didn’t make it as they were leaving. Guzzled down the spirulina drink. Ugh. Walked quickly to catch up. Shins are splinters of pain. Hips are reminding me of yesterday’s walk. Lungs are wheezing. I call to Dar. Cannot do it this morning.
Sit by the beach. Breeze is so beautiful. Tell myself not to feel guilty – I’ve worked very hard under pretty extreme circumstances. Plus, can make up for it through 90m yoga and afternoon exercise. And of course the colonic. Always the colonic.
Only have to get through today and tomorrow. Sunday is a rest day. And the day I break my fast. It will have been 6.5 days with no food and under very heavy physical requirements.
The actual point of all this was to kick smoking. After all, Nino (the founder) used to run a drug rehab clinic (still does, technically. Accepts one at a time occasionally, without anyone else knowing why that person is at the retreat – smart.) with the exact same methodology, and highly successful results. If this helps people beat crack, coke, heroin, and meth, then nicotine should be an easy feat. I haven’t wanted one all week.
Occasionally, I think of them, out of habit. Like now, when I sat on the beach with nothing to do, I thought “I want a cigarette.” But when I curiously examined the thought, I found I didn’t, not really. I guess boredom is my trigger. Enter Patience. If I can embrace Patience, I can kick the habit for good.
My body needs a break. I got through yoga, I’m not sure how. Meditation. Massage (ow). Colonic (ew). Nap. I napped through afternoon exercise. I feel refreshed, and I just can’t bring myself to feel terribly guilty about it.
I weighed myself. I am at 264, from 315. That’s 51 pounds altogether since we left Oklahoma. This makes me giddy with glee!
All that’s left is our workshop, dinner (broth), steam bath, and bed. Then the last fasting and colonics day. I’ve almost made it!
Current Count: 6d Smokefree, 5d Fasting
Mental – 8/10 Physical 6/10
Today I broke my fast. With the low energy levels, it was the recommended course. I think it’s beneficial anyway. One of a smoker’s biggest triggers is post-meal. This gives me seven meals to acclimatize myself, still in this environment.
Lost another ½ kilo this morning. That’s 52 pounds altogether. I’m hoping to stay over the 50 pound lost mark even after resuming food.
Tonight’s activity (after the 90m walk, 90m yoga, meditation, massage, colonic, and lunch – yay lunch!) is a hard trek to a waterfall. I’m glad I’m eating today – I’ll need the energy.
Well, eating is probably a strong word for what I’m doing. Breakfast consisted of six small slices of pineapple. At first dismayed, dismay turned into incredulity. It took me 15m to finish five of the small slices. I could not eat the sixth. It was too much. Crazy!
Lunch was a smooth pumpkin soup, of which I could eat only half.
We were trucked to Namaung waterfall for the trek. It was incredibly difficult. Incredibly. I got maybe a ¼ way up the rock scramble, and had to go back down (I was far from alone – four of us could not make it). Lost weight or no, it’s still a lot to ask of my knees. (Aside: Rhys met some Germans who went to Namaung and said it was a very difficult walk for a dried-up waterfall – and they’re in fantastic shape!).
Dinner was a giant plate of veggies. I have never much cared for asparagus, carrots, or onions, but I love them now. And of course broccoli – mm!
Current Count: 7d Smokefree, Zip Fast (broken today)
Mental – 7/10 Physical – 7/10
Sunday = REST DAY! Woo! No morning walk, massage, colonic! I must admit, I miss the yoga. I’ve asked Dar to email me the poses we use. Breakfast was more pineapple – still didn’t finish, but they gave me a lot more this time. My lips are cracked from the acid! 😦 I love it so though!
Lunch was Pad Thai with Tofu. Now, I’ve wanted to like tofu all my life. I love edamame and soyburgers, and it’s the same plant! But even here, even after a week with no food, I couldn’t like it. I am just not a tofu girl. The rest of the dish was awesome though!
Quiet day. Swam in the ocean. Burned on the beach (like I do). Listened to music. Read a book (Addition by Toni Jordan – it was on the communal shelf. I chose it over The Host by Stephanie Meyer because gods help me if I ever read another book by that woman). Realized I am covered in itchy mosquito bites.
Very much looking forward to seeing Rhys again and a week of A/C in Phuket.
So, I leave early tomorrow morning. Was it worth it? I don’t think I’ve lost much weight here (paradoxically, I rarely shed a ton of weight when fasting). I learned some yoga. I “flushed my colon.” I do feel overall better. I feel clearer somehow, like someone adjusted the knob on a radio to bring a fuzzy station in better. And I haven’t had a cigarette in a week. No drugs this time, no patches, no gum, no crutches. Cold turkey. Then a week of stress. If I can get through this with no cigarettes, surely I can get through anything.
So yes, assuming the non-smoker transformation is an all-but-permanent one, then it was indeed worthwhile.
Tonight: Chicken and vegetables! Then packing, then bed. I find out my official results tomorrow, but the only one that really matters to me is the one I already know.
Current Count: 1 week+ no smoking.
Mental – 8/10 Physical – 7/10
Lost 3.3 Kg
Lost 1.4% Body Fat
Lost 3cm on Upper Arm, 13cm on Waist (Yes, 13), 2.5cm on Hip, 4cm on Thigh
Relearned Yoga (have started to make it a morning routine with Rhys)