Throughout the majority of my adult life, I’ve been known for my patience and easy-going demeanor. I smile easily and often and am always happy to talk to my friends. I listen when people have problems and offer advice if it is needed. I have noticed in the last few months that I am having more moments when I lose my cool…never in front of anybody, but I lose it nonetheless.
I’ll be in the car and get stuck behind a slow person. I submit for time off and get denied due to a system error. I get a food order that has something wrong. A call I make doesn’t get returned. These things didn’t bother me much, but for some reason now I just get angry. I’m not talking frowny-face and grumble angry. If I’m in the car, I yell at the top of my lungs. I get SO IRRATIONALLY ANGRY and upset. Sometimes I feel like crying. What has happened to me?
I swear a lot more. I take things personally. I’ll get sad. Sometimes I just scream. But never at anyone, or with anyone. Always by myself. It’s like my fuse, which was once plentiful, has grown painfully short. And it’s not all the time. I just get set off and feel like my entire world is collapsing. I don’t want pity, or feel like the world owes me something. It just happens so quickly and is not a reaction I am accustomed to dealing with.