I had a conversation today about returning to the dating scene.  I’ve been on the fence about the subject.  On one hand, Indi and I have been separated since early November.  That’s four months.  It feels like mourning a relationship that I had for seven years should work differently.  I remind myself that, in my heart, things hadn’t been in a good place for six months prior to that, and from that perspective that’s almost a year.  Still.  It’s a hard decision to come to.

I have always been a ‘Plan’ guy.  I never dated anyone I couldn’t see myself marrying someday.  I figured, why bother.  Waste of time and energy.  I’ve changed a lot since then.  I’ve learned not to live so rigidly and be more spontaneous.  Once things were truly over in my marriage, though, I now recognize that my mind has been wandering back into that old rut.  I have such a mix of emotions from my failed marriage and my father’s death that I don’t know much for sure these days.  This includes the condition of my heart.  But after thinking, I realized that this is exactly where I need to be.  My current emotional turmoil has me to where I CANNOT return to my old rut, or else I face a very sad and lonely life.

I realized I can date like other people date.  Without preconception.  Without some grand plan.  Just dating.  If it blossoms further, great.  If not, hey, whatever.  I learn about myself, and others, and begin to rebuild.

It’s like I’ve been sitting on the title screen for a long while and someone finally pressed start.

About rhysfunk

Rhys Martin was born in Tulsa, Oklahoma in 1981. In 2009, he sold everything he owned and left the country, living out of a backpack for ten months. He discovered a passion for photography while traveling throughout Southeast Asia and Europe. After returning home, he looked at his home town and Oklahoma heritage with fresh eyes. When he began to explore his home state, Rhys turned his attention to historic Route 66. As he became familiar with the iconic highway, he began to truly appreciate Oklahoma’s place along the Mother Road. He has traveled all 2,400 miles of Route 66, from Chicago to Los Angeles. He has also driven many miles on rural Oklahoma highways to explore the fading Main Streets of our small towns. Rhys has a desire to find and share the unique qualities of the Sooner State with the rest of the world. Cloudless Lens Photography has been featured in several publications including This Land, Route 66 Magazine, Nimrod Journal, Inbound Asia Magazine, The Oklahoman, and the Tulsa World. In 2018 he published his first book, Lost Restaurants of Tulsa. Rhys loves to connect with people and share his experiences; ask him about enjoyable day trips from Tulsa, locations along Route 66, and good diners or burger joints along the way.
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