What is it we really want?

I was thinking last night, in that hazy drift between wakefulness and solid sleep, of our upcoming journey and our jobs, and many other various items that sweep in and out of a tired mind.

What is it we really want out of this experience? Other than experience? Is that enough?

What am I chasing?

Watching the Olympics last night, Rhys was busy wiki-ing and sharing his findings of the history of the Olympics with me. It’s really fascinating – if you get a chance, it’s worth a read: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olympic_Games

We watched athletes give their all for the chance to stand on the podium, smiling and waving as they saw an unusually clear culmination of all their hard work in a small metal medal. How wonderful that would be – such a clearer goal for those athletes than for most of us who can’t or won’t work quite that hard, and are thus left with a more muddied path, less crystal-clear goalposts. There’s a lesson there somewhere for all of us.

But for me, I look at our beginning – Spring of 09 – as a goalpost. Is that even right? I think I have that viewpoint because of the absolute lack of knowing what will come next. I don’t know what we’ll see, do, hear, learn. I don’t know who we’ll be. So, I don’t know how to express in words or thoughts what I want to get out of this undertaking.

I suppose for now I’ll have to be content with two major goals: Survive. Grow.

2 thoughts on “What is it we really want?

  1. Indi, you are a fairly open person.I am not sure what you would want out of this experience. I would figure that you looking to open your eyes up to the rest of the world. We as Americans have a very narrow view of how things are, you are wanting to see beyond that.True, the athletes in the Olympics have clearly defined goal (run faster, jump higher, further, etc) but they weren’t always that way. Perhaps you will find whatever it is when you are traveling. Perhaps you are wanting to prove you and Rhys can do what others can’t or are unwilling to do.I think your trip will be like what you can equate to being a parent. You don’t always have the answers to being with but as you go along you get clues.You don’t have to justify anything to anyone who reads your post. Be content in the fact that you and your husband have made a bold decision and are willing to stick to it. There is nothing wrong with risk taking. I admire you and Rhys for your openness, that is what I love most about you guys. You have such a diverse group of friends. Your life is rich and I figure it will only become richer as you get older.

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