Acquainted

I had a conversation today about returning to the dating scene. I've been on the fence about the subject. On one hand, Indi and I have been separated since early November. That's four months. It feels like mourning a relationship that I had for seven years should work differently. I remind myself that, in my … Continue reading Acquainted →

Testing

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Malaise

Malaise: noun - a vague or unfocused feeling of mental uneasiness, lethargy, or discomfort.You know, I'm starting to wonder if this cold and cloudy weather has something to do with my mood. I've never been one of those 'aw, shucks' kind of cloudy day guy; in fact, I love rain and thunderstorms. But I'm so … Continue reading Malaise →

Settling

As I sat in my living room this morning, listening to old Creedence Clearwater Revival records, drinking coffee, and awaiting the cable company to come hook up my internet, I smiled in the contentedness of the moment. It was early. The coffee was good. The music drifted through the air, having been trapped in a … Continue reading Settling →

Contradiction

I was in the middle of a conversation with a good friend last night when I came to a realization. Over the last few months, there have been several emotionally traumatic events in my life: the failure of my marriage, the death of my grandmother, and the death of my father. I've had this nagging … Continue reading Contradiction →

Hidden

Have you ever felt you know something about somebody, but later find out that you didn't know the true depth of knowledge that you thought you did? Dad was really good at hiding things. If he didn't want you to know something, he would really pull out all the stops to keep things under control, … Continue reading Hidden →

Timing

It's strange how I can have the exact same thought or say the exact same words and get entirely different reactions. For example: I have a picture on my desk at work of my family. Mom, Dad, Tyler, and I at Grandma's funeral service this past December. I'll look over at it occasionally, and sometimes … Continue reading Timing →

Stuck

I've spent the last several days stuck in my apartment. This horrible blizzard has cut me off from the rest of the world, it seems.My apartment is behind a house in a residential area in the middle of Tulsa. Typically, I park on the street, take a sidewalk around the back of a small house, … Continue reading Stuck →

Moved

Today was the last 'big' step in the aftermath of my father's untimely demise. It was moving day.Thanks to my night schedule at work, early mornings are once again a struggle for my brain to acknowledge. And, yes, 7 am is early. Thankfully, I got up with enough time to fix myself a cup of … Continue reading Moved →

Speech

Thank you all so very much for coming. As I’ve talked to some of you this past week, I’ve come to realize that everyone thought as highly of my father as I did. I love my Dad very much, and I know he loved me. I was proud of the things he did in his … Continue reading Speech →